Been a while

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Been a while

Postby Brewtality » Thu Jul 14, 2016 3:00 pm

Hey there Ninjas!

It's been a while since I've been on as I've had to deal with some bullshit real-life crap. I broke up with my girlfriend in the new year and it wasn't taken very well. We sort of lived together here in Tanzania but her job involved a lot of travelling and so we only actually spent a few months here together over the last two years. That just wasn't enough for me and as she wasn't going to change her job and I wouldn't change mine, there was only one thing to do. Unfortunately, this has now convinced her that I am some kind of evil-genius who concocted some plan to string her along to take advantage of her high-paying job. That couldn't be further from the truth. After being here for a while, I had to move house and so we both chose somewhere which was very expensive rent-wise for me, but worth it if we could have somewhere to call home. I took care of the rent (which was just under half of my salary) and she bought some of the furniture and stuff for the kitchen. Well, after breaking up, she decided that she was never coming back here and so it was 100% my responsibility to sell all of the house stuff asap and send her the money as well her clothes, personal items and then send our cats to her family in South Africa.

Well, I wasn't about to sell everything in the house so I could have a 4-bedroom place all to myself which was completely devoid of any furnishings or shit like a refrigerator. So, I looked for a new place and found one but still had to pay rent on the old one which only finished in May. So I sold the kitchen goods and bought her half of our car for what she paid for it - not it's current worth - and didn't bother about arguing over the fact that I've sunk an extra $1000 into it for repairs etc. Oh, and in order to do that, I had to take a month's salary in advance. But she wants everything in one go and is being very threatening about it. In her mind, I a literally the world's worst person who has completely ruined her life by ending our relationship. She is 5/6 years older than me and was ready for marriage and a family. After a lot of thinking, I decided I wasn't (with her) and the way she is acting now has shown me that I was completely right.

She has taken to harassing my family and is threatening to now harass my boss until she gets her shit back. All I want to do is get rid of this stuff to get her out of my life but I simply don't have the funds to do it all in one go. I earn a very meagre salary and she is earning $75k + but is pleading poverty. She has had a tough time with us breaking up and both her best friend and father dying so I still have sympathy for her and I find myself defending her to my friends when I talk to them about my situation. She could have come and got her shit at any time but has flat-out refused and there is no way that I am the 'bad guy' in this situation. She knows the score but she is still so angry and full of hatred that she can't/won't accept it. I am just a bad person who stole 4 years of her life and now she will never have kids or get married (she's 37) and it's all my fault.

I'm not perfect but I'm also not a scheming person and I'm not a vindictive person who would gain any pleasure in hurting anyone else. I was devastated by the end of our relationship and people have noticed how it's affected me. I'm fine about it now but I still have this shit hanging over my head and it's really got to me. For around 7 years I've been a regular on another forum and she registered on there and spilled all this vile bullshit about me on there. There's no way I was ever going to respond to any of it and air my dirty laundry in public but I can't go on there now (at least for a while) because a) she's gone full-psycho and will be stalking that place waiting for me to say something and b) the whole thing was seen as one of the most entertaining events to happen on there for ages (to be fair, if I'd read that shit I'd be saying the same) so I have to wait for it to die down a bit before going back. I've not said one bad word about her to anybody. It's just that with paying the rent on the old house up until recently, money has been tight and I haven't been able to jump when she clicks her fingers.

Anyway, I've not been on here posting because I use the same username here as I do elsewhere and whilst she doesn't know about this place, I don't want her stalking through Google and finding me here only to ruin everything. I've not even been lurking so I'm very sorry for not contributing anything for too long.

I hope everyone here is still cool and hopefully this is my 'I'm Back!' post.

Peace and love.

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Re: Been a while

Postby girlapaloo » Thu Jul 14, 2016 3:41 pm

Yikes - Sorry to hear you've been dealing with some shit.
Here, have a taco, and some beer.
/taco /beer
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Re: Been a while

Postby NaranjaRa » Thu Jul 14, 2016 11:00 pm

miss ya dude....hope things get straight for ya. and we're here for you when/if you need us! /nod

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