Roses?

Writers Rule... especially Ninja Writers.
Azealdread
NinjaCrafted
Posts: 177
Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2016 3:15 am

Postby Azealdread » Wed Apr 27, 2016 5:26 pm

I found this buried deep in my files and i figured it would not hurt to post here, i never finished this but perhaps when i have a moment i may.

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War had spread across a land of which men fought monsters, and villages called for the help of a unit of knights to help them in their time of need...only to have to pay the king or queen of that zone money for protection. This in time is what caused to war of roses...where even the rain was stained a soft red as cities turned against this faulted system of protection and began raising their own fighters to take down monster or debt collectors, but as time rolled by the kings and queens would crush these dreams for absolute rule over three main lands simply named after their king or queen...as the north was called Cellon after the ruthless King. the South was named Reil After the lonely Queen...as for the middle lands, well that was named by all to be the Valley of tears Ruled only by beasts and deadly monsters.

Within these lands a boy was born on the same day as the daughter of King to the north,This boy however lived in the south within the lands of the Queen whom did not like the idea of anyone in her land being born on a day of which was filled with happiness for the King of the north and so she order he be cursed as an Unseen and cast into the evil Valley of Tears...with no name, and nothing to keep himself alive. The Princess of the north however lived like and girl to the throne would, happy and content with her life but hating the wars her father brought to the lands. She understood however about the wars with monsters for they killed their people, but the wars that her father sat through with the Queen of the south was wrong in her soft eyes.


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let me know what you think
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AMIT
the unproven
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2016 9:16 pm

Postby AMIT » Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:06 pm

I like it! First paragraph is golden, I get a little lost in the second paragraph, I had to reread it once to get all the family ties figured out.

So I'm guessing now we flash forward to the Valley of Tears in like 20 years?
"The only people who ever called me a rebel were people who wanted me to do what they wanted." -Nick Nolte
Azealdread
NinjaCrafted
Posts: 177
Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2016 3:15 am

Postby Azealdread » Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:09 pm

I am honestly not sure where this was even going, i like the idea i head behind it but i wrote it back in like 2009 and never got back to it. It would be interesting to see where i could go with it now.
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